By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
