Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize