like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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