Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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