Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
