I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
ok first of all what the fuck
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize