Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
