It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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