So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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