I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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