ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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