Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
