it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Are my feet made of real feet?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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