listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
