A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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