This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
