that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
