My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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