until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
