My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
