Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Please don't give away my fajitas
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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