I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
