playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
