I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
only if we run a train.
done.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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