I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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