ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
