ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
