I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
