the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
