I bet he comes in French.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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