When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Randomize
