As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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