last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
