Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Randomize
