Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
