my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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