i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
