She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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