Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
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