Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Randomize
