Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Randomize
