if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize