I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I didn't notice because vodka
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
