Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
