girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize