we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
