this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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