i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
