ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
