But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
