At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
