I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
