I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
