dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize