I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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