I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
