I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
