I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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