The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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