So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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